Lyn Cote Page 22

  It’s fitting—I feel a little pathetic.

  Ellen had declined Sunday dinner with the Ashfords and spent the rest of the gray day alone, caring for William—holding him close and rocking him soothed her battered heart. She pondered her feelings for Kurt, acknowledging that what she felt for Kurt was nothing like what she’d felt for Holton. She hadn’t fallen in love with Kurt because of his handsome face, though he certainly was handsome. She’d fallen in love with him because he was working hard to help his brother become a man and to raise a motherless nephew. And Kurt had come to her aid so many times—when the community had tried to force her to give up William, and when William had convulsed and she’d been afraid of losing the baby. Hardworking, unassuming, caring Kurt had stolen her heart. Would she ever get the chance to tell him?

  Ellen rose and laid William in his cradle. The sun had sunk below the horizon—winter nights came early now. She struck a match and lit the oil lamp, setting the glass cover in place just as a knock came at the door.

  Startled, Ellen swung around. She’d heard no wagon arrive. No one had called out to her. So who had come out in the cold night to knock on her door? She reached the door and twisted the knob.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ellen opened the door, letting in a gust of cold wind. A woman cloaked within a black shawl huddled at her door.

  “Hello?” Ellen said hesitantly. Could it be that strange woman who might come a second time to try to wrest William from her?

  The woman, hiding most of her face, glanced around in a furtive manner. Then she stepped forward, gently forcing her way inside. “You don’t want me to be seen standing here. Please.”

  Ellen didn’t recognize the woman’s voice but her words surprised Ellen and she gave way, allowing her inside. Then she shut the door to keep out the cold. “How may I help you?”

  The woman walked to the fireplace and stood before it.

  Then Ellen noticed that under the shawl the woman wore a shiny red dress with a scandalously short skirt and black silk stockings.

  Ellen was speechless.

  A woman of easy virtue had come from the saloon to her door. In all her life, she had barely glimpsed—and certainly never spoken—to a woman outside her chaste world. The line separating decent from indecent women was sharp and vast, unable to be breached. Ever.

  “I know I don’t belong here,” the woman said as if reading Ellen’s mind. “But when I heard, I had to come. I reckon you can guess I come from the saloon. They call me Lila.”

  Not ‘My name is Lila.’ ‘They call me Lila.’ “I’m Ellen Thurston.”

  “I know all about you. Men talk at the saloon, you know…”

  The woman trailed off. Ellen didn’t know she’d been the topic of discussion at the saloon. The thought boggled her mind.

  Lila rushed to reassure her. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Everyone said that you are a fine lady, smart and real kind to the kids—I mean, schoolchildren.”

  Ellen nodded, trying to figure out what had brought Lila to her fire.

  “Well, and that’s why I—” Lila began.

  At that moment, William rolled over on the blanket and gurgled happily. He made a few attempts at pushing up with his arms, then gave up and swam with his legs.

  Lila fixed her gaze on William, unmoving.

  Ellen suddenly couldn’t breathe.

  “He’s grown so much in just a few months,” Lila whispered.

  Ellen gasped silently. This couldn’t be happening.

  Lila dropped to her knees and reached for William. Just as Ellen was about to panic, Lila pulled back and began to weep silently.

  Ellen could not think what to do but she couldn’t bear the woman’s distress. “Please, please don’t cry.”

  Lila sniffed back tears and rose. “I saw you in town once, and you had such a sweet face and such fine manners. I knew you’d make a good mother.”

  “William…he’s your child?” Ellen asked.

  Lila nodded, gazing downward.

  “Why are you here?” Ellen felt the earth giving way beneath her. Do you want him back?

  “I don’t want him back,” Lila blurted out, as if she’d heard Ellen’s anguish. “I hear some woman came and wants to take him from you.”

  Ellen’s mind had slowed so that it moved with the speed of cold honey dribbling down the side of a jar. She couldn’t sort out everything that was happening.

  “You can’t let that lyin’ woman take him.” Lila’s voice got stronger. “You can’t let nobody take him. I gave my baby to you. I wanted you to have him, you to raise him, don’t you see?”

  The woman’s fervent plea woke Ellen up, her tension easing. “I do see, Lila. And I promise I will never let anyone take William from me. I might have to leave and go to my hometown, Galena, however. There I have family and backing. My uncle is a judge.”

  “Good. Good,” Lila said. “You do what you have to for…for William, all right? And you can’t let anybody know he was born upstairs at the saloon. No one must ever know.” Lila raised both hands as if in supplication.

  “But many have guessed he might—”

  “Guessin’ ain’t the same as knowing,” Lila insisted. “If people know, he’ll never live it down. That’s why I just up and left him on your doorstep so no one would ever know where he come from.” Lila stepped close to Ellen. “You got to promise me. No one must ever know he was born upstairs at a saloon or his life will be a misery.” Lila leaned toward her.

  Ellen got the impression that the woman would have taken her hand but feared to breach the division that separated them.

  This woman entrusted me with her child. Gratitude carried Ellen forward.

  She grasped both the woman’s hands in hers. “No one will ever know from me, Lila. I promise. I am so grateful. I didn’t think I would make a good mother…” Emotion clogged Ellen’s throat.

  “Oh, no, I saw right away that you would be a sweet mother. I knew you’d know just how to take care of my…him.”

  Then Lila tugged her hands free and rearranged her shawl to hide within it. “Peek out and see if there’s anybody around. I don’t want nobody to see me.”

  Ellen obeyed and as she expected no one had come to her clearing. She motioned for Lila to come to the door.

  Lila slipped past Ellen. “Thank you.”

  “Thank you. You’ve given me the most wonderful gift…” Ellen couldn’t find more words to say.

  “You give me the best gift. You love my son and you’ll give him a chance for a good life.” Then Lila slipped away, disappearing into the dark among the trees.

  Ellen closed the door and rested against it. The facts that had just been revealed poured through her like a waterfall. Now she knew who had given up William and chosen her to have him and why. But she would never let anyone use it against him.

  She knew what she must do.

  Even if it cost her Kurt.

  *

  Sunday afternoon brought the first real snowfall. Ellen left Amanda in charge of William in her quarters and prepared to attend the school board meeting. She’d made her decision and would carry it out today. The Mississippi was freezing and she must take action now.

  While the school board members followed the agenda, Ellen sat very straight beside Mrs. Ashford near the front of the crowded schoolroom.

  The men who had worked on the woodshed and had cut wood for the school had been invited to attend to receive public recognition. Ellen was very aware that though Kurt was part of this group, he had not come. Over the past few days, he had continued avoiding her. This made what she had to do both easier and harder.

  Just before the board began the brief ceremony to thank the men, the door opened behind her. She didn’t have to look back. She heard a few quiet accented words and knew Gunther and Kurt had arrived. Her stomach quivered like jelly.

  “Miss Thurston, you said you had something to address,” Noah said from the front of the room, sitting beside Mr. Ashf
ord.

  Ellen rose on trembling legs. She had decided that she must protect William at all costs, even if it cost her the only man she’d ever loved. “I am afraid that I must tender my resignation—”

  Suddenly Amanda’s panicked voice came from the next room. “No! No! Help! Help!”

  *

  Kurt was on his feet immediately, dashing toward the connecting door, just a few steps behind Gunther. As he passed Ellen, he grabbed her hand, pulling her along with him. The other men leaped to their feet and raced forward, too.

  They entered the teacher’s quarters to find Gunther standing with his back to Amanda, protecting her, his fists raised. Amanda held William close and tight.

  Kurt turned to see who Gunther was confronting and thundered, “You again! What are you here for?”

  The woman who’d come earlier to claim William as hers stood in Ellen’s quarters with a man who looked to be related to her.

  “I am not letting you take William,” Ellen declared, stepping to Amanda’s side and putting an arm around the girl.

  “Well, I brought my brother,” the woman said, her chin reared up toward Ellen. “He’ll tell you the baby is mine.”

  Kurt knew they were lying. He didn’t know how, he just knew.

  “If the baby is yours, why were you sneaking in here then?” Amanda asked accusingly. “You didn’t even knock, just you came at me and tried to take William out of my arms!”

  “You’re lying,” the brother said.

  “Amanda doesn’t lie,” Gunther barked. “If she says it, it’s the truth.” Gunther clenched his fists and kept them raised.

  “That’s right,” Mr. Ashford agreed from just inside the connecting door. “My girl doesn’t lie.”

  The woman buried her face in her shawl. “Oh, everyone is against a poor widow!” she shrilled.

  Kurt knew in his gut the woman was lying. How could he convince others of this? And what had Ellen said right before Amanda cried out? I am afraid that I must tender my resignation… She was going to leave Pepin. She had said before she might go home to Galena to enlist the support of her family to keep William. And now she was going to go through with it.

  At this realization, Kurt’s heart raced so fast, sweat beaded on his forehead. Then he looked at Ellen and it was as if his heart stopped. In her eyes, he saw the same anguish he’d seen only once before in his life—in his sister’s eyes, at the moment she realized she was dying and would leave her tiny Johann an orphan. The memory twisted inside Kurt, nearly forcing out a groan.

  In that instant, Kurt knew he couldn’t let Ellen lose William; he couldn’t allow her to be wounded so deeply that something in her might die. But what could he do?

  God, help.

  Noah shouldered forward. “Let us all go into the schoolroom and discuss this civilly.”

  Along with everyone else, the two strangers moved with reluctance into the schoolroom. Gunther stayed protectively at Amanda’s side and Kurt joined him, hovering near Ellen. He racked his brain. How could he protect William from this deceiving woman?

  People encircled the main participants, not sitting. A sense of watchfulness, wariness hung over them all.

  Suddenly, before he knew he landed on a plan, Kurt found the words to say. “If you are this child’s mother, you must prove it.”

  Every face turned toward him, most looking shocked.

  “That’s true,” Noah agreed, “but how?”

  Kurt glanced at William, and more words came to him somehow. “Everyone can see one of the child’s birthmarks, but his mother would know where his other birthmark is.”

  Every face swung to the woman, who appeared perplexed, chewing her lower lip and frowning. The silent tension in the room rose higher, tighter. The expressions around the woman hardened.

  “Well?” Noah asked.

  She blurted out, “On his back.”

  With Amanda still holding him, Ellen lifted William’s baby dress, revealing his smooth, unmarked back.

  A growling swept through the crowd. Kurt felt it within himself. He clenched his fists and stepped toward the man and woman.

  “Why have you lied?” Noah demanded.

  The woman began weeping, but others took up Noah’s question, insisting on the truth.

  Kurt waited, moving closer still to Ellen.

  “I heard about the child left on the doorstep here,” the woman said tearfully. “I’m not able to bear children. I just wanted to give this child a good home.”

  Rank disbelief met this. Anger and outrage at being lied to was expressed by a spontaneous hissing from the crowd.

  “My new husband is expected to return any day to take us to a homestead in Kansas,” the woman continued, trying to justify herself. “We would make a home for the babe.”

  When this speech met with no sympathy, the woman’s brother blurted out, “She’s got to have this baby or he’ll know she wasn’t—”

  She hushed him sharply, guiltily.

  Noah stepped forward then and asked, “How can we believe anything you say? First you say you bore this child and left him on the doorstep to look for a new husband. Now you say your new husband expects to see you with a child. None of this holds together.”

  “I’ve heard of women,” Mrs. Ashford announced, “who tell men about to leave for the West that they are pregnant. But it’s just a ruse to induce the man into marriage before he leaves. And then when he returns, what happens if there’s no baby?”

  More hissing followed this suggestion. Kurt began to wonder if the crowd might attack these two, who edged toward the rear doorway.

  Noah addressed the town. “Lying, and attempting to steal a child does not recommend you to our community. In any case, God chose Ellen Thurston to raise William.”

  The pastor’s words swayed popular opinion. Every head was nodding, scowling at the woman and her brother.

  “If you’d been honest, matters could have ended differently,” one of Ellen’s most vocal critics said, glaring, disgusted.

  Amid the crowd, a path to the schoolroom doors opened as if directing the disgraced twosome to leave.

  “This isn’t right,” the woman said, raising a fist. “This isn’t the last you’ll hear of me,” she blustered as she and her brother left.

  One of the men slammed the door closed after them. “Good riddance,” he pronounced.

  Noah held up both hands to quiet the room. “Would everyone be seated, please?” The crowd moved to sit. “I think that we must put to rest this idea that Miss Thurston cannot keep this child. Did you hear her say she was going to tender her resignation?” Noah scanned the faces before him. “If you can’t accept this child as hers, you will lose Miss Thurston from our school, our community. Is that what you want?”

  “No,” Kurt said aloud, along with many others. Ellen gazed at him with such gratitude in her eyes that he had to look away.

  “Miss Thurston,” Noah said, “you were going to go home to better defend your claim to William, weren’t you?”

  “Yes, Ophelia’s father is a judge. He would have given me his support,” Ellen said, rising.

  “Old Saul said that God had given William into this lady’s care,” Noah said. “We must let this matter rest there.”

  A man stood. “I been against the teacher keepin’ the foundling. But I see today that was wrong of me. Those two were as shifty a pair as I ever seen. Don’t you worry any more, Miss Thurston. You’ll keep that child or I’ll know the reason why.”

  Many added their agreement to this. Finally, Kurt began to breathe easier.

  Noah proceeded with the public thanks to those who helped build the woodshed and the meeting ended on a positive note.

  During the social period after the meeting, many men who’d never spoken to Kurt came up to him, surprising him with their congratulations and thanks for exposing the lying woman. They even shook his hand. He knew he’d always be “the Dutchman” in their minds, but something had shifted for them—he could see it in th
eir eyes. Perhaps something had shifted inside him, too.

  Finally, only Kurt, Gunther, the Ashfords and Miss Thurston remained. Mrs. Ashford sent Kurt an appraising look and said, “I think Amanda and Gunther and William should come home with us now. It’s time you two had a talk,” she said sternly.

  And with that, Ellen and Kurt were left alone.

  Without a word, Ellen led Kurt into her quarters. In front of the fire, she turned to face him. Her gratitude to him for saving William was tempered by a need to know, to come to an understanding of what had broken them apart. “You were wonderful,” she said simply.

  The words released something in Kurt, and before he could stop himself he had taken her into his arms. He held her, whispering, “Liebschen.”

  Ellen leaned back and looked up at him. “Why have you been avoiding me, Kurt? Was it Randolph?”

  “He told me to stay away from you. That you’re too good for me.” At the time, the words had been very painful to hear, but Kurt said them now as if they were nothing—and they were.

  Ellen didn’t know whether to be relieved or infuriated. “But that is not what has kept you away, is it?” she pressed him.

  Kurt exhaled loudly. “It wasn’t just your brother. I already knew he didn’t think me good enough for you.”

  “Then what?” She rested a hand against the mantel.

  The light from the fire cast her in a glow, highlighting the golden strands in her light brown hair. She was so lovely. He must speak now, tell her everything. It was time.

  “Ellen, it was because I did not feel good enough for you.” The old sorrow hung around his neck, threatening to weigh him down. But he reeled himself in, and focused on her. “Bad things happened to us in Germany.”

  “That’s what Gunther said. But can’t you tell me what happened there? Don’t you trust me?”

  “With my life,” he said, resting a palm against her soft cheek for just a moment. Then he leaned forward and braced his hands against the mantel, gazing down at the low fire. “After a wasted life, my father gambled away our farm and then hanged himself in the barn.”